ADOPTION

 

Tulip attended a special viewing of a documentary about adoption at a local church auditorium in the community of Hammond recently. It was a very personal story about the life of an adoptee which is a topic that few ever really take the time to think about.

Chrystal was first adopted at around five days old. Originally the plan was for her to join a family of four who wanted a boy. Almost immediately the plan changed and she was adopted by a family of four who really wanted a girl.

Her adoptive family loved her fully from day one. She had a fantastic upbringing and they made her aware of her adoption early in life. The limited information available at the time was that she was of indigenous heritage and the birth mother wanted her to have a better chance in living a good life. The best part was the family never made her feel adopted or different from her brothers. She was always one of them, and equally loved.

As outsiders looking in one might say well that was 100% fantastic. But the reality is that it was not 100% fantastic for Chrystal. Something was missing and she needed to find it. 

Feelings were driving her to continually think about her adoption and to react to it — why it happened, why it had to happen, who was her birth mom and her circumstances etc. For her, being adopted was kind of like missing a limb and after years of fighting it, in various ways for various reasons, after she married and had children of her own, she finally took the giant step forward to find out.

It was a hard and emotional journey that started with ancestry DNA testing leads and ends with a plethora of events: meeting her mom, meeting blood relatives, visiting the grave sites on Cree Nation in Manitoba, familiarizing herself with her history and culture, feeling her spirit reconcile with her being, and then even meeting her father who had no idea she existed.

Tulip has learned that adoption hits people in different ways. It impacts not only the adoptee, but also the birth mother, the birth father, adoptive parents and siblings, and all the relatives. The reality is that it is hard on everyone, and not every example works out.

Chrystal’s life has come fully circle and her documentary speaks to her character: determined, passionate, tenacious and resilient; both her upbringing and her late in life discoveries, plus her supportive husband and children, leave her feeling blessed and honoured, and still ready to learn more.