THE BEACON IN DARKNESS

THE BEACON IN DARKNESS

TULIP sat down at a local eatery in her hometown of Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada - called Humble Roots - to enjoy a delicious eggs Benny during their sixth anniversary celebration. She brought along a new library book entitled “Think You’ll Be Happy” authored by Nicole Avant.

It turns out the book is one of those helpful accounts, from a real life example, that injects light into darkness, illuminating a path of dismal, choking grief and spiraling depression and bringing forward a renewed sense of optimism about the future.  The theory sounds so logical and easy to outsiders; but, taking the first step and then stepping further is extremely difficult for grieving people at all levels, be it loss of a loved one, marriage, job, skill, culture, homeland, mobility or tragedy.

Every now and then such a person enters the door into Tulip’s life, and she willingly holds that door open, easily, determined to luminate some sense of help that at least causes the dim light of a candle to shine.

The experience has, at times, been grueling, difficult, painful, perplexing, distressing and depressing, but not so easy to run away from, because despite the sadness, stress and complexities, giving unconditionally and willingly has the power to make the meager ray of light from that dimly lit shimmering candle become at least a bit more steady.

The experience can also backfire when the grieving is embedded in stuck mode — when the person cannot see a hand, feel a hand or hold a hand, and opts to shun, shelter and spin.

Either way Tulip stands tall, and feels pride, joy and satisfaction in stepping to the plate; but, she also knows when to recede and rescind, yielding to saving herself from exhaustion, abuse and impossible odds.

Books like “Think You’ll Be Happy” go a long way in lightening the load for people who are struggling (as well as good people trying to make sense of it all) to set a path, and to restore optimism and confidence in a helping hand and even, one day, — a hug. 

[What's in a hand that makes spirits soar? What's in a hug that says so much more?

Is it comfort? Is it friendship? Is it something called love? 

It is comfort. It is friendship. It is something called love.

It's the comfort of knowing we are not alone

It's the real friendships that we continue to hone

it's the unconditional love that feels so much like home.]

THE POWER OF GIFTING

POWERFUL GIFTING

EVERY once in a while a person comes out of nowhere and gives you a gift for no apparent reason, and then the reason becomes apparent.

The other day, at the local swimming pool, a place that Tulip  frequents three times a week, along with an array of other regulars, an elder appears along the pool deck and hands her a clear baggy in which there is a gift.  It is a magazine entitled Prevention.

“This is a follow-up to what I was trying to talk to you about last week.”

Tulip glances at the cover and sees a number of wide-ranging hints.

“Oh,” she says. “That’s awfully kind of you. Thank you very much.”

Tulip brings the gift to her pool bag sitting on the bleachers nearby, and returns to the pool deck where she often sits for a few moments of reflection before slipping into the tepid water, ready for either the 9:05 or 11:45 Aquafit class. 

All the while she is thinking about the surprise gift, and the person, and then the gift and the person, and then the gift, the person and the topics, and realizes that coming as a regular to an Aquafit class is more than just coming regularly to an Aquafit class for the exercising.  

The experience becomes so much more. The experience starts when we enter the building and cross paths with familiar faces, exchange greetings and a bit of small talk. The experience continues before class starts, and after class ends, as the aquafitters mingle amongst each other, in the water,  and learn bits and pieces about lives, each other’s lives, family, health, trips, trip-ups, challenges, hopes, dreams and aspirations. 

Eventually some of those connections extend to places away from the pool and some don’t — but that is okay because everyone treats life and life experiences differently. 

Tulip’s smile embraces all of it, especially on that day as she looks forward to reading the magazine as soon as she gets home.

With her favourite homemade café mocha on her right side and the headlines on her left, her eyes focus on the large birthday cake front and center and the words “Live to 100 and Love It.” She is tempted to turn to that story immediately, but opts to enjoy the read one page at a time, to get the full joy of appreciating a thoughtful gift. 

After reading another enticing headline: “Feel Younger Starting Now”, Tulip picks up her iPad and sends a message to the gifter:

“You are amazing and so delightfully thoughtful. I’m now hooked on the content and look forward to discussing some more things with you in the days ahead.”

The first article encourages Tulip to focus on her accomplishments and to single out three of the most significant. She writes down three and her mind is instantly filled with positive emotions — pride, joy and gratitude — all of which send any negativity to the back burner. 

The stories continue with a refresh on the latest in oral health, nutrition, balance, hobbies, purpose, skill development, listening to and nurturing one’s inner self, plus bringing joy to others and then feeling that joy back.

Receiving this small sized magazine, loaded with a heap of insightful, reassuring and encouraging information, as an unexpected gift from a quiet, kind, big hearted woman in a local Aquafit class, has given Tulip a new outlook on life and living, people and things, and a much better appreciation of the privilege and ability to live a good, fulfilling healthy, long life — making healthy choices, engaging with others, listening to the inner voice — none of which needs to ever grow old!