THORN IN MY SIDE

There is a thorn in my side and it just won’t go away!

A few years ago I was asked to take over the administration of an Aquafit FaceBook page.  At first I hesitated as I had no knowledge of what that actually meant and have never easily enjoyed learning new techno things. But, since nobody else volunteered, up went my hand.

At that point in time, our City communication strategy lacked public confidence because relevant information was rarely forthcoming and all too often last minute. Aquafitters would arrive at the pool  wondering things like why is the pool closed or why an anticipated instructor was someone else or why the location of the class had changed. Rumours would flap around by people who said they talked to a lifeguard and found out this or that, only to find out that the lifeguard spoke out of turn and was completely wrong. There was a whole bunch of he said, she said, they said — don’t you just love the line ‘they’ said …?  When you ask them who ‘they’ is, suddenly they don’t remember!  Certain people were striving to be seen as the person with the inside scoop — all the while they were most often misinformed, causing widespread confusion and frustration.

So then I came to the plate and immediately dug into the problem. I developed a close working relationship with the official management team and communication director.  I got head’s up on almost all alerts and longterm plans. I carefully presented them accurately and clearly so no rumours could form.  I built the membership of the group from 32 to 83 assuring everyone the only information I would post or allow others to post would be confirmed accurate and only things specific to aquafit. In other words, no lost pet notices, garage sales, craft events, funerals, marriages, holiday photos etc. 

Everything was marching along swimmingly, until a disgruntled person decided to adjust aspects of her Facebook settings and, as a result, lost the ability to view posts.  I worked tirelessly to find out what could have happened. I paid an IT person to help me understand and explain how to go back and reverse her actions. She had moved her ‘availability’ toggle from ‘available’ to ‘not available’ for postings.  As a result, she was not seeing posts.

I offered to assist her one to one if the recommendations were hard to follow and no matter what I did, she decided she had made no adjustments to anything and that her problem was all my doing. 

Occasionally she would go public and post an accusatory message implicating me. Each and every time I took the highroad and calmly explained the way to resolve her problem. I even suggested a specific learned person in the group could be immensely helpful to her in confidence.

It got to a point whereby other members of the group asked me to remove her because of her ad hominem attacks on my integrity. I dismissed the suggestion because she is clearly troubled, and needs an outlet.  Some would say it’s a form of grieving and others would say it is jealousy or envy driving that behaviour. I would say she needs a new mirror to figure it out herself.

Whatever the actual explanation might be, it’s now over the top with repetitive accusatory postings, or irrelevant postings, and I have suspended her from posting for 30 days. 

One good thing about all of this is that there is only one thorn in a beautiful appreciative collection of diverse flora, and my hope can be that one day that thorn will listen to the mirror, transform and fit right back in to live happily ever after with the rest of us.

RECONCILING DIFFERENCES

REFLECTING ON RECONCILIATION

From my very early days of being a child in the hamlet of North Bend, British Columbia, Canada — a small village of maybe 300 people in the 1960s, I have always felt different levels of being perplexed about the segregation of our Indigenous peoples from the rest of us, as well as being uninformed or misinformed about their traditions, customs and experiences upon the arrival of the new settlers.

It wasn’t until later in life that what I experienced and witnessed in our beloved North Bend, actually hit my conscience quite hard.  Even as a young lass I knew something wasn’t right about how we viewed, treated and talked about the indigenous people who lived on the other side of the tracks.

The mainstream attitudes carried well into my teen and young adult years when we moved to a metropolitan region of the province. Even the school textbooks accentuated the stereotype images that white man created and wanted the masses to believe. Despite it all, I still felt perplexed and felt a need within to never tow that line. 

Part of my drive to take this stand forward could have something to do with my own arrival to this country. My older brother and I came to Canada with our parents from our original homeland — The Netherlands, in the late 1950s. Almost as quickly as we got here, people who lived here counselled our parents to assimilate. This meant to leave our language, customs, and ways of life behind, and follow the way of established Canadians. Thankfully we did retain a few Dutch traditions while under our own roof. But, we just all played along publicly. It wasn’t until my late teens that I questioned that decision and set in motion a determination to correct that wrong, as have my brothers, sister and the other Dutch people we have met over the years.

In my working life on the political side of government, I experienced a wonderful awakening. I met and met with many Indigenous leaders and Indigenous people. I attended events, ate and made bannock, learned about smoking fish; but, more importantly, I learned about treaties and treatment, promises and broken promises. 

During those years I learned about genuine efforts to acknowledge wrongs, and witnessed the baby steps taken to show an effort to reverse or change discriminatory programs, policies and practices.  

As sincere as those efforts may have been, they could only be effective if they were supported with actions.  Sadly all too often, although the new path to moving us forward as educated, informed and responsible public servants in a democratic society should have worked, the original enthusiasm wavered and fell flat. I could go on and on as to why that happened, but I think that answer is obvious.  

So now, I am in my 60s and I continue to be on side with the ongoing reconciliation movement. I quietly put together a short story in which I present but one example of a co-produced project that demonstrates working together to inform, educate and appreciate the effectiveness of problem solving.  The story is called “Can You See Me Now?”  and it can be found on my blog.

I am also in the middle of reading Jody Wilson-Raybould’s newest book entitled True Reconciliation - how to be a force for change.” Her personal upbringing taught her to live in two worlds and to this day she strives to bring those two worlds together in order to effect change to the status quo. She has worked hard throughout her lifetime, has had some successes and some knocks, but despite the ongoing challenges, she stands tall and determined to keep trying. 

Her book is written in simple language and reads like a discussion; by the end, the reader can sit back and hopefully say something like “okay, this makes a lot of sense; how can I help?”  

True Reconciliation would be an excellent book for Book Club people and would bring out open and honest discussion at the very least. I also hope it will encourage more non-indigenous and Indigenous people to step harmoniously into the reconciliation journey. Leaving it in the hands of politicians hasn’t helped much; many of them mean well, but carrying good ideas forward needs more widespread support and efforts. 

As the author says: the three pillars to change are To Learn, To Understand and To Act —we all have a part to play and I feel confident that by following that sequence, we will get there in my lifetime!

[my blog is antoinettadewit.blogspot.com ]