ANTOINETTA DEWIT's GARDEN OF POETRY AND PROSE

GOODBYE 2023, HELLO 2024

As we all sit back this week to reflect on the year that was, we cannot help but wonder about the state of our lives, our friends’ lives and our world.

Some of the stuff is really, really great or good, and other stuff not so great nor good, but we persevere and try to do our best for ourselves, and do our part for others — the best we can.

By far for me, the greatest personal active experience of 2023 was cycling the Okanagan Rail Trail from Vernon, BC to Lake Country — 52 kilometers under warm temperatures and a clear blue sky, with friends Kerry, Patty and Gloria. (See photo)

By far the greatest personal family experience for me was spending four days in Kelowna at Christmas time with my twin nieces who flew in from Australia, with their families, to enjoy Christmas, and more, with their parents.

By far the greatest philanthropic experience was giving of my time to help families in need in my community have some semblance of happiness together, during the Christmas season, despite very difficult and trying times. Non profits like the Maple Ridge Christmas Hamper Society, are truly doing the best they can.

I am also happy to say that a lifelong creative writing dream is about to come true around the end of 2024 — something that I hope to share modestly and without fanfare, in keeping with my nature, but with great glee and excitement.

At the same time, I am often thinking about our larger world — especially in Crimea, Ukraine, Israel and Palestine, in turmoil, and sadly diplomatic efforts simply are not working. None of us can imagine what living in those regions must be like. None of us has experienced such community turmoil, destruction, sadness, fear and hopelessness. The worst part of it all is none of us can do anything tangible to help.

I am, however, very glad and optimistic that the indigenous dialogue has finally significantly progressed across all dimensions/fields/sectors — business, government, education, health, social services, economic development, the energy sector, and local governance have finally accepted that colonialism (“we will do everything the white way”) and stereotype attitudes need to be shredded, and removed from the narrative, in order to successfully understand and embrace the important reconciliation work ahead. We all have a part to play to get it right.

I remain happy to be a Canadian Dutchie, living in Maple Ridge, enjoying retirement with cycling, walking, aquafitting, meeting new people, travelling to the same and different places, expanding my creative writing and spending time with family and friends — close to here and far away.

For me, this has been an interesting personal decision making and planning year. It seems to have gone by quickly, and I am already looking forward to the coziness (fulfillment) of what’s to come! I wish the same for others known to me and not, because we all only have one life to live and love — and, getting the best and the most of it, is what we all deserve.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LIVING THE DREAM

In a lot of ways this day is a day of reckoning for Tulip. A long stationed side trip has pulled to the fore and, at this junction, the train is about to part the station.

The new journey will start off slowly, as all engines do, while bells and whistles, bearings, brakes, and clearings are checked and double checked, by seasoned engineers and crew, and a conductor who carefully checks and stamps everyone’s ticket to somewhere.

While sitting at the station, Preteen Tulip recalls sitting on her front porch in the hamlet of North Bend, British Columbia, looking out towards the mountain at the Trans Canada Highway wondering where all those people were heading. She then wanders over to the top of a sandy knoll to watch the arrival of the Canadian Pacific passenger train. Everyday it carries with it a load of passengers, newspapers and mail.

There in the dome car now sits Tulip, a grown up Tulip, smiling with a glass of Prosecco and a charcuterie platter of smoked fish and Dutch cheeses. Her many years of wondering where this train is headed is now over — she’s about to find out!

She quickly logs into the free WiFi before being blocked from communicating, as the train meanders its way in and out of mountain passes, exposing beautiful scenery, enduring fog, rain, snow and sunshine, and carefully navigating areas where wildlife is known to occasionally jump onto the tracks. A lot is occupying her mind and it will be like that until the journey reaches its final destination.

For now this new mission is all a mystery with any possible outcome, but Tulip’s optimism and confidence, and support from encouraging and supportive family and friends, adds to the pleasure of a journey worth waiting for.

GIFTED

Gifted

Tulip went on a journey one very rainy Monday morning to deliver seasonal gifts to people in the City of Burnaby. The first stop was just a drop off at a back door and the next was a visit to the home of a 93 year old lady. They had first met four decades ago.

The lady had been tipped off that a visitor was coming so she made a concerted effort to spruce up her hair, and wear a sparkly seasonal sweater and newer looking black leggings. She even applied some lipstick.

As Tulip walked up the hilly driveway, she noticed the house was the very same blue colour as always. The grass was nicely cut and the landscape trimmed. She could see a short little grey headed, smiling person standing slightly away from the front kitchen window, waving. It was Gretel.

Gretel is a victim of atrocities during the Hitler era in Germany. She managed to escape, get well educated and immigrated to Canada as an adult. She used to be a biophysics professor at Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada.

Since Tulip was a student there in the late 1970s, Gretel invited her to a fourth year Biophysics class. The subject matter was a way over any of the curriculum of her familiar humanities group of classes, and she felt very out of her league.

Nevertheless, out of respect, she sat through the entire thirty minute lecture and listened to her brain struggle hard to pay attention. It was an unusual, surreal experience. The temples on each side of her head were beating faster than her heart.

Afterwords they sat in Gretel’s small faculty office packed with floor to ceiling books and papers, to review the lecture and discuss the research pertaining to the measuring of light years. The experience was mentally painful. Gretel was patient and kind; she expressed appreciation that Tulip stuck it out, and noticed that she was paying attention.

“Paying attention is key to living well,” she said.

Tulip was happy to walk out of that science pavilion, stress headache and all, and back to the comfort of the Humanities’ wing of the University, never to return!

They did, however, continue to interact on occasion at political meetings that were held at the house she shared with politically active people. Gretel was not interested in partaking because she was a scientist not a politician — thereby favouring the intellectual challenge of New York Times crossword puzzle over what was offered! The two would share quality moments together before and after those meetings.

Eventually Tulip moved to central Canada to pursue other interests, returning home during December to do the family and friend Christmas festivities. Visiting with Gretel became an annual tradition and continued for many subsequent years.

The COVID ERA changed lives and routines, and the visits with Gretel took a hiatus until this year. Tulip stood at the side of the house and waited for the door to open. She was greeted by a lovely hug, and invited to sit in one of two chairs cleared for the occasion. It was a back to the future moment.

She glanced at the kitchen table and had flashbacks of the university office experience. The table was stacked with tons and tons of yellowing newspapers, old and new magazines and books of every scientific kind. Had Gretel become a hoarder or had she always been one?

When Tulip asked her why she was collecting so much printed stuff, the reply had nothing to do with content. She said they make her feel she is not alone. A bare table makes her feel lonely. An empty chair makes her feel lonely as does an empty room. Tulip looked forward to not seeing the rest of the two story, three bedroom house, and especially not the basement rumpus room where the political meetings had been held. All she could imagine is more and more piles of floor to ceiling academic books, covering each and every spot.

Gretel asked many quasi personal and very personal questions, and made many comments, often bluntly, seemingly without compassion — as a scientist would. She even branched out into the more humane aspects of human life like family, friends, excursions, projects and plans, showing genuine interest in the answers.

At that moment Tulip realized that although the many singled out parts of Gretel are particular and unique personality traits and life experiences, the lady herself is much more than the sum of her parts. She is a very brave woman, a survivor, an intellectual, a loving, interesting, caring, independent, content woman, and as spry now as she was four decades ago.

This was a delightful visit with a delightful healthy nonagenarian, with all her faculties still in place. Despite her deep passion about science and everlasting pride in her research and findings in a very precise and unique field, it was not beneath her to connect with a free spirit named Tulip, four decades ago, to challenge her, encourage her and guide her through her thinking, decision making and problem solving.

Before bidding farewell with a soft kiss on the cheek and a gentle hug, Gretel said this:

“Remember what I have always told you about life and life choices, as long as you follow the steps of any basic science experiment identifying “problem”, “analysis”, “options”, “observation”, and “conclusion” — no matter how difficult the challenge in front of you might be, you will find a solution. The solution might not be immediate, and it might not be obvious, but with faith, focus and determination, following those steps, you will find the missing answer.”

With that, the door closed. Tulip walked down the driveway to her car, turned and waved to the incredible lady in the window, as tears of happiness trickled down her cheek, feeling so darn gifted because of people like Gretel who are like angels who drop in now and then, and stick around for all the right reasons.

THE BEACON IN DARKNESS

THE BEACON IN DARKNESS

TULIP sat down at a local eatery in her hometown of Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada - called Humble Roots - to enjoy a delicious eggs Benny during their sixth anniversary celebration. She brought along a new library book entitled “Think You’ll Be Happy” authored by Nicole Avant.

It turns out the book is one of those helpful accounts, from a real life example, that injects light into darkness, illuminating a path of dismal, choking grief and spiraling depression and bringing forward a renewed sense of optimism about the future. The theory sounds so logical and easy to outsiders; but, taking the first step and then stepping further is extremely difficult for grieving people at all levels, be it loss of a loved one, marriage, job, skill, culture, homeland, mobility or tragedy.

Every now and then such a person enters the door into Tulip’s life, and she willingly holds that door open, easily, determined to luminate some sense of help that at least causes the dim light of a candle to shine.

The experience has, at times, been grueling, difficult, painful, perplexing, distressing and depressing, but not so easy to run away from, because despite the sadness, stress and complexities, giving unconditionally and willingly has the power to make the meager ray of light from that dimly lit shimmering candle become at least a bit more steady.

The experience can also backfire when the grieving is embedded in stuck mode — when the person cannot see a hand, feel a hand or hold a hand, and opts to shun, shelter and spin.

Either way Tulip stands tall, and feels pride, joy and satisfaction in stepping to the plate; but, she also knows when to recede and rescind, yielding to saving herself from exhaustion, abuse and impossible odds.

Books like “Think You’ll Be Happy” go a long way in lightening the load for people who are struggling (as well as good people trying to make sense of it all) to set a path, and to restore optimism and confidence in a helping hand and even, one day, — a hug.

[What's in a hand that makes spirits soar? What's in a hug that says so much more?

Is it comfort? Is it friendship? Is it something called love?

It is comfort. It is friendship. It is something called love.

It's the comfort of knowing we are not alone

It's the real friendships that we continue to hone

it's the unconditional love that feels so much like home.]

THE POWER OF GIFTING

POWERFUL GIFTING

EVERY once in a while a person comes out of nowhere and gives you a gift for no apparent reason, and then the reason becomes apparent.

The other day, at the local swimming pool, a place that Tulip frequents three times a week, along with an array of other regulars, an elder appears along the pool deck and hands her a clear baggy in which there is a gift. It is a magazine entitled Prevention.

“This is a follow-up to what I was trying to talk to you about last week.”

Tulip glances at the cover and sees a number of wide-ranging hints.

“Oh,” she says. “That’s awfully kind of you. Thank you very much.”

Tulip brings the gift to her pool bag sitting on the bleachers nearby, and returns to the pool deck where she often sits for a few moments of reflection before slipping into the tepid water, ready for either the 9:05 or 11:45 Aquafit class.

All the while she is thinking about the surprise gift, and the person, and then the gift and the person, and then the gift, the person and the topics, and realizes that coming as a regular to an Aquafit class is more than just coming regularly to an Aquafit class for the exercising.

The experience becomes so much more. The experience starts when we enter the building and cross paths with familiar faces, exchange greetings and a bit of small talk. The experience continues before class starts, and after class ends, as the aquafitters mingle amongst each other, in the water, and learn bits and pieces about lives, each other’s lives, family, health, trips, trip-ups, challenges, hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Eventually some of those connections extend to places away from the pool and some don’t — but that is okay because everyone treats life and life experiences differently.

Tulip’s smile embraces all of it, especially on that day as she looks forward to reading the magazine as soon as she gets home.

With her favourite homemade café mocha on her right side and the headlines on her left, her eyes focus on the large birthday cake front and center and the words “Live to 100 and Love It.” She is tempted to turn to that story immediately, but opts to enjoy the read one page at a time, to get the full joy of appreciating a thoughtful gift.

After reading another enticing headline: “Feel Younger Starting Now”, Tulip picks up her iPad and sends a message to the gifter:

“You are amazing and so delightfully thoughtful. I’m now hooked on the content and look forward to discussing some more things with you in the days ahead.”

The first article encourages Tulip to focus on her accomplishments and to single out three of the most significant. She writes down three and her mind is instantly filled with positive emotions — pride, joy and gratitude — all of which send any negativity to the back burner.

The stories continue with a refresh on the latest in oral health, nutrition, balance, hobbies, purpose, skill development, listening to and nurturing one’s inner self, plus bringing joy to others and then feeling that joy back.

Receiving this small sized magazine, loaded with a heap of insightful, reassuring and encouraging information, as an unexpected gift from a quiet, kind, big hearted woman in a local Aquafit class, has given Tulip a new outlook on life and living, people and things, and a much better appreciation of the privilege and ability to live a good, fulfilling healthy, long life — making healthy choices, engaging with others, listening to the inner voice — none of which needs to ever grow old!

Gracely Frugal

SOMETIMES on rainy days, I sit back with my legs extended above the ground, resting them on a cushioned chair in front of me. With my deliciously hot café mocha in my right hand and my bucket list in my left, I make a plan for the day.

My eyes zero in on a discount store in Langley called McFrugals. A very astute friend recommended it to me because it’s a two thumbs up store for bargain hunters. Besides staying at home and baking up a bunch of delicious treats, I could think of nothing more appealing and diverting than checking out the store.

I checked on line for clear directions. Wrote them down. Jumped into the car, and off I went. Eventually I found the store but the effort reminded me why I don’t like driving in that city nor in its neighbour. Too many signs. Too many add-on streets. Too much traffic. Upon seeing the store sign in a strip mall, I was instantly calm, and then the excitement light went on! I found myself in bargain haven.

More than two hours later, I had scoured the many racks and shelves. The end result was a mound of mixed finds, all encompassing the totality of at least eight Christmas gifts — mostly for the toddlers and a few of the adults, plus a group activity for when we will all be together. I did see a beautiful pair of OshKosh boots for an infant. They were $1.99. The problem was that they were both left feet. You really do have to be very astute when shopping these days!

As I attempted to find my way home, just by chance I spotted the Holland Shopping Centre — a rather small shop, with one lonely clerk. She asked if she could help me find something so I did give her something to do, while I perused the few shelves and bins. No bargain there; but, I did buy licorice root candies and a half dozen double beef croquettes for a special treat on a special week for a special person pretty darn soon. The wait will be worth it.

So, despite the dreary rainy day, it turned out to be metaphorically sunny, and the rest of it will be focused on finding the gift wrap, bows and ribbons!

HAUNTING HAUNTS

THIS afternoon at the Maple Ridge Library, 35 people gathered to enjoy a very interesting presentation about haunting stories and unanswered paranormal sitings in the region, and surrounding area.

Victoria Vancek and Gina Armstrong are sisters who have lived in our area for many years. Together they have always been intrigued by, and drawn into, the mystic of ghost stories and paranormal sitings.

Since 2017 they have turned their fascination into a career and successful business. They research and investigate leads, and they educate and motivate people, through field trips, seminars, discussions, and their published works.

Unanswered questions intrigue and inspire them, and motivate them to investigate, elaborate, photograph and present their findings to the curious, the skeptical and the fascinated.

I just spent 90 minutes listening to their passionate and convincing tales and felt myself move from skeptical to fascinated, to the point that I may well join them on an actual field trip one day soon.

Whether real or imagined, some ghost and mysterious stories have carried on through the ages and others have remained unwritten and unanswered until now. Yet others, more current, are still waiting to be found and shared. The tales can be eerie, odd, scary, funny and fascinating, questionable and plausible.

Whether real or imagined, completely false or factual, they all capture the imagination of the listener, awakening something within and causing them to yearn to know more.

This was an interesting, sometimes surreal experience making me wonder if the next creaking sound, odd hum, seemingly invisible image at the top of the staircase or chill will not be ignored, because quite possibly there may be something more to it after all!

This was yet another enjoyable day in the journey called life!